A Tragic Christmas Worth Remembering

On Friday, December 21, the Stewart family moved into our new residence.  We were pretty sure that we wouldn't be in before Christmas, but through tireless efforts from our realtor and our lender, and through the providence of a caring Father, we did.  The home is beautiful and far beyond what we hoped for.  A ranch style spread sitting on 1.5 acres--with trees!  Hardwood flooring throughout.  An attached garage with an almost finished out attic.  A plot for a garden.  Lots of stuff, and we love it.

On Saturday, December 22, we spent the entire day unloading boxes and putting stuff up and together.  A long day, but not unpleasant.  Many thanks to all those who were able to help.

On Sunday, December 23, we heard a sermon on the birth of Jesus.  How His birth, His life, His death, and His resurrection--the Gospel, His gift of grace--is the ultimate present to unwrap on Christmas.  How so much God loves the world that He extends to us grace and redemption when we don't deserve it.  And that night, as every year on December 23, the entire extended family gathered together in Bremen to enjoy one each other's company.  This has always been so as long as I can remember.  Coming together as a family.  It's a unique experience, as I come from a family where love is apparent and obvious, where people honestly care about one another, where the backbiting and gossiping is relatively minuscule and non-existent.  My family may not have much in the realm of materialism, but we're over-abundant when it comes to love.  That's how we are. 

After the get-together was over we stopped by Mamaw's house to pick up Stella and to check on her.  She left the gathering early.  She hadn't been feeling to good.  So we stopped and spent a good hour-and-a-half there, just talking and chiding Mamaw's stubbornness.  She didn't want to spend Christmas in the hospital, she said.  She'd go after Christmas.  So I took her trash outside for her and Keisha offered to take some of the food home with us and prepare it so she wouldn't have to.  Mostly we just sat around and talked and watched Avonlea play with Mamaw's water bottle and eyeglasses.  Hilarious stuff, really. 

Mom spent the night with Mamaw and we left to go to our new home.

At 3:54am on December 24, Mom called and told me that Mamaw didn't have a pulse.  She passed away not long after.

On Monday, December 24, we went to the funeral home and went through all the routine stuff.  Questions, answers, coffin room.  We were all stunned.  Christmas at Keisha's grandmothers that night to try normalcy, but my heart and mind were elsewhere.  All I can think about is how fulfilled my relationship was with Mamaw, how much I loved her and how much she loved me.  I spent the formative years of my life living with Mamaw, and my relationship was incredibly deep.  Many nights I spent down her house and she'd wake up early to take me and Jake home before going to work.  How I always opened her fridge and freezer just to see what she had available or if the ice box needed seeing to.  How I called her each week just to talk on the phone and see what was up.  How funny Avonlea looked playing with Mamaw's glasses, how Mamaw laughed. 

I think of the few unfinished things in my life that Mamaw missed: she won't get to see my new house, she won't get to meet the new baby when he comes around, and a few others.  But mostly I think about how full her life was, how much love was there between us.  All four of us grandkids loved her intensely, and her love was reciprocated.  She was without a doubt the best grandmother I could have hoped for, and I miss her very much.

On Tuesday, Christmas Day, December 25, we all gathered at Mamaw's house that night as planned.  We didn't get to eat her delicious cheese dip or sausage balls or barbecue, nor did anyone feel too much like eating, but we managed.  We sat around the tree and looked through photo albums, each of us quietly reflecting in our own way.  We passed out the gifts we had for one another.  My heart lurched at opening the ones from Mamaw.  Her absence was so noticed, and yet her presence was felt.  Love never ends, even if this life is temporary.

So I grieve and miss my Mamaw, but I think only happy thoughts on her memory.  I have the assurance that I will see her again, and until that day I'll go on living my life knowing that she has helped shape me into the person that I am today.

I love you, Mamaw.

A Merry Christmas Wish and A New Video

Greetings.  I come before you with a humbled heart and an open mouth, hungry for just one drop of ambrosia or something comparable (Mudder's Milk, perhaps.)

Today begins my three day festival of Christmastime.  The 23rd of every year is my extended family's reunion/get-together/smorgasbord, and in just a few short hours I will sit and sup and feast like a king.  As one who loves to eat, especially good, home-cooked stuff, this is an event I look forward to every year.

Follow that up with two days of presents and more food and you've got a satisfied-but-oft-miserable Logan.  (I  too much, leave me alone.)  Good times all around.  Hopefully we'll get to play some Rook, too.

I find myself thinking about presents and gifts and stuff and really wish we didn't live in a society where this was the understood and accepted thing to do.  I mean, I love giving and getting gifts, but how many of those gifts are given/received for the right reasons?  How many are done out of mandate?  Where's the love from that?  Why are we obligated to buy so many gifts?  Is Christmastime just a season of money exchanging and fulfilling traditions?  Sadly, I think so.

Anyway, that's not the point of this.  I don't expect that to ever change, partially because I know my family would never go for it, and partially because our society is too far gone in that direction.  So I continue to follow the traditions and dream of ways to rock the catbox a little for next year.

I hope you all have a truly, madly, deeply wonderful Christmas.  I know I will.

In the spirit of Christmas, I've had a song stuck in my head for a few days, which I've taken the liberty to record and post up on that youtube thingy.  It's embedded below, if you'd like to give 'er a listen.  I think it sounds pretty good, and hopefully you do too.


So, I hope this post wasn't too depressing.  A cynical view on Christmas and a song about double suicide.  Wow.  That's in no way where I intended to go.  I think perhaps I should just stop now.  Look for a full week next week.  A book review or two.  A summary of 2010's reading, with all the bells and whistles.  Promises promises.

Have a great Christmas, everybody.  Seriously.  Enjoy the thing that makes you love and feel loved and remember to think about Jesus every once in a while. 

Warbreaker, a review (spoiler-free)

It is no secret that I am a Brandon Sanderson fan. I loved his Mistborn series, and his standalone Elantris was also a thrill-ride. I may be a bit unfair towards Sanderson, but I’ve set the bar high for him and his work, and somehow he still manages to come through.

Warbreaker is an interesting and highly entertaining tale that I can easily recommend for the hardcore fantasy buff, the fledgling bird in the genre, or anyone looking for a story that’ll keep you turning the pages. Vivenna is a beautiful, proper princess that has been engaged to the God King of Hallandren since infancy. This marriage is to end the growing tensions between the small nation of Idris and the pagan lands of Hallandren. Siri, the youngest daughter of the Idris royal family, is an obstinate trouble maker, spending her time doing whatever she pleases. Soon the time comes for Vivenna to be off to T’Telir and wed the vile God King, but not everything goes as planned…

Lightsong the Bold is a Returned god of Hallandren. He spends his days idly drinking and eating, getting into verbal conundrums, and trying to convince his high priest Llarimar that he is not a god. Despite his attempts, the people still worship him, petitioning to him and offering him elaborate gifts in hope of receiving a blessing. Something happens in the Court of Gods and Lightsong becomes fascinated, searching for clues, and stumbling into something greater…

Vasher is a mysterious and powerful figure. A strong Awakener, he never lacks Breath. His black sword, Nightblood, is even more mysterious than he is. Vasher’s intentions are only known to him, but it’s clear that he’s after something grand…

The weaving of characters, ethnicity, and religion throughout this book was gracefully done and masterfully written. The religious system involving colors was unique and completely believable. Like metals were to Mistborn, colors are to Warbreaker, and I found this fascinating.

Though I really enjoyed the book, there were parts that I found tedious and eye-rolling. For the most part, I did not like the character Lightsong. His constant banter and flippant mannerisms had me bored from early on, and I wish this character would have been developed a bit differently. Sure, some of it was funny, and most of it was very clever, but I grew bored of constantly listening to him whine/speak.

In the end, Warbreaker was a great book to read and finish off the year with. By the time I reached the end, I really wanted more pages to read, and that is a good thing. While not up to par with Mistborn (few things are), it was better in some ways than Elantris and worse in others. (That is not to say that Elantris is bad by any means.) If you’re looking for a thought-provoking, entertaining fantasy novel, Brandon Sanderson’s Warbreaker is it.

Random Bits and Pieces

6 Christmases, 2 funerals
1 banjo
Star Wars Clone Wars Season One
Lost Season 5
An awesome Beatles book
2 re-mastered Beatles albums (Sgt. Peppers & Abbey Road)
Candy, clothes, and gift-cards
Lots of Star Wars stuff
Lost 1 game of chess to Todd
End of the Year Favorites tomorrow

So this is Christmas

Chiming in with the rest of the blogosphere, Merry Christmas to all!

I did finish Warbreaker last night, and it was awesome. Maybe I'll be able to get up a review tomorrow or Monday.

Merry Christmas again.

On Christmas Music

There’s something special about Christmas music.  Kind of.  Really I should say that there’s something special about Christmas music for a little while and then it quickly gets old.  Some people start playing it the day after Thanksgiving and keep it going on into February.  Others may turn on the radio on Christmas Eve as they’re cooking, but no more.  Others may only hear it at church when they go to see a Christmas play or cantata.  And still more will eschew Christmas music like it’s the bubonic plague.

Myself, I love Christmas music, but conditionally.  I like it with variety.  If it all sounds crisp, clean, and bubbly, I’m ready to tear my ears off and plug the holes with caulk within a few short minutes.  I like the traditional Dean Martin or Nat King Cole song as much as the next guy, but not only them.  Different arrangements of the music makes all the difference in the world.  Or playing quirky, odd Christmas songs.  Something to break the monotony of familiar Christmas tunes.

As a musician, one thing I really appreciate and like about Christmas music is its complexity.  Christmas songs typically make use of odd chords that aren’t played as often, diminished and augmented things.  And many of them rely on a heavy minor sound, which I find absolutely delightful.  There’s just something moodier when I hear a minor chord, something a bit more mysterious and powerful.

Right along with the actual music is the lyrics behind many Christmas songs.  Many of them deal with the birth of Jesus, of course, and that is well and good.  His birth should be remembered and honored, and by singing carols of Him we are worshipping Him in a way.  But then there’s the secular Christmas songs, like “I’ll be Home for Christmas,” “Blue Christmas,” or “The Christmas Song.”  These songs are often fun to sing along with and the wide array of meaning behind them, from sadness of memories gone by to the joys of riding a sleigh through snowy hills.  I enjoy a good mix of meaning with my songs.

A final thing that I really like about Christmas music is that it crosses every genre, but it also is a genre of its own.  You can listen to one artist sing a favorite Christmas song, adding to it their own personal touch.  Or perhaps they leave it alone, stripping it down to its simple form and sing over the easy chords.  Whatever the case may be, each artist will add their own unique flavor to any song, and the variety in this is perfect for curing the normal Christmas music blues.

I’ve written this post chiefly for one reason: Christmas music does not have to be painful to listen to.  No, truly there is hope for the music.  I found it, and now I’ll share it with you.  A plethora of answers to life are available from NPR, and they have the fix for this dilemma, too.  Jingle Jams: A Holiday Mix from NPR Music offers 100 favorite holiday songs, from Bach to the Ramones to Louis Armstrong to Johnny Cash, and they’re all available for free listening here.  The streaming is on a loop, so you don’t get to pick where you start, but you can listen to a great variety of Christmas music.  There are very familiar songs and there are songs I’ve never heard before.  Overall, I’ve enjoyed it, and you can too.  Thank you NPR.  You always come through.

Random Bits and Pieces

• Writing Wednesdays tomorrow.  Don’t miss it.
• Amazon’s Deal of the Day is Assassin’s Creed II for $40.  That’s outrageous!
• Some funny Christmas ads from yesteryear.  I liked the first one best.
• I still haven’t picked out Keisha’s gift.
• I’m compiling my data from all the books I’ve read for 2009 and will be posting it the last week of the year.

Christmas Time's A Here

Well, folks, it's here. The most wonderful time of the year. Family gatherings and loads of food, in addition to gifts and presents. There are some people that think Christmas is only for giving/receiving, and there are others who only celebrate it for the birth of our Lord and Savior. A comfortable medium exits.

Simply, remember that some day around 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ was born, meek and lowly. His humble birth and brutal death and majestic resurrection are the only reasons I have hope for the future. I love Him more than anything else can offer.

Furthermore, I love the Christmas season because it offers a perfect way to practice giving. Some people take gifts awkardly if it's not for a special occasion, and Christmas offers the most special of occasions. So, Keisha and I make a point to get gifts for everyone and to donate generously to our favorite charity (World Vision).

About giving. Money is not the only method of this action. Make food for someone. Go through your old clothes, toys, etc. and take them to the Salvation Army/Homeless Shelter/Church. Get an angel from the angel tree and make someone personally blessed and happy. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Give your time and energy to your stressed relatives. Write a check to a charity, or give cold hard cash to a homeless person. Finally, pray for people, and ask people what you can pray about for them.

The gift of giving is truly a great experience. Making someone happy and blessing them is a wonderful feeling, and methinks good for the soul. Sacrafice makes you realize what's important and what's not.

Enjoy your Christmas' everybody. There's a big announcement coming soon, too, so stick around. There'll e'en be pictures...