there's a monster in my belly, a poem

there's a monster in my belly,

it's colored black and brown.

and every time i'm up about

i think it goes to town.

its claws are sharp and hairy,

they scratch around inside.

poke! screech. twang! snip.

they shear away my pride.

its eyes are always open,

like mine, they're green and blue.

they soak up their surroundings,

and take especial note of you.

its teeth are razor blades and thorns,

made for chomping right through stone.

i've been bitten a time or twelve,

though it's never hit a bone.

from time to time it travels,

but never far it goes,

just up the spine to my brain

or slithers way down to my toes.

i wish, i wish, i wish times three,

that this monster'd leave and let me be,

that it'd sneak off to a closet or under a bed,

and let me sleep and rest my head.

-------

My stomach hurts.  Chronically.  Keisha fell and hurt her neck a few days ago; she's been hardly able to turn her head.  She chiropractered it up yesterday, and is going back again today.  Hopefully she gets well soon.

Halloween was a success.  Avonlea was most beautiful, I must say.  She went as an artist.  She even painted her own pieces, though she was no fan of dipping her hands or feet in the paints.  Still, Mommy & Daddy insisted.  We then framed each of the pieces on some colored poster boards.  Then we took a black drape and taped up all the artwork.  We created a sign that said "Museum de Avonlea."  Keisha dressed up as a museum curator.  I dressed up as an avant-garde art critic.  I splatter painted a onesie and Avonlea wore it, black pants, a beret, and a penciled moustache.   She was quite adorable, though she was not a fan of the 'stache being drawn on.  All in all, Halloween was a success.

Happy Movember to all participants, as well as NoShave participants.  And super happy NaNoWriMo to those brave souls.  Perhaps next year I'll jump aboard again.  We'll see.

A Poem, Some Musing, and Six Halloween Pictures

"dark goes the night, smooth goes the date"
by logankstewart

change my clothes
out i go
a date tonight have i

long it's been
since my last sin
so long.  adieu.  goodbye.

lick my teeth
feel the slime
a blade goes in and out

you gasp "oh"
at my crime
blood falls from your spout

eyes go wide
from the cold
of steel on flesh on bone

hands dam up
staunch the flow
but you're already gone

quick as sin
toss my knife
in someone else's truck

see me smile
in waning light
unfortunate, their luck

wipe my hands
in the dirt
and off to eat i go

a date to get
a meal to split
and no one in the know.

I don't know what it is inside me that enjoys this sort of stuff.  It's not that I have hidden desires or twisted ideas.  I think, perhaps, that maybe it's the only way I can come to terms with the craziness of the world.  I've always been fascinated by the darker (see "On the Darker Side of Songs," "On Morbid Curiosity") things in life, though, oddly, I can't movies like Saw and Hostel.  There's just something unnerving about violence, something so gritty and horrible that it makes me sick at my stomach.  The dichotomy of my music tastes is astounding; I'm either listening to folky, acoustic tunes, which are often peppered with Darkness, or I'm listening to Contemporary Christian music.  It makes no bloody sense!

So if this is the case, then why do I find the recesses of my mind adventuring in such realms?  I'm happy.  I love life.  I'm not a disturbed person, and I have no horrific past that is buried below my surface.  I'm calm, patient, compassionate, nothing like the unsavory sorts from many of the songs and stories I hear/read.

Is it the passing of Halloween and the imminent autumn-like weather that turns my mind towards dark and heavy thoughts?  Is it from playing Fallout or reading The Passage?  I don't know what it is.  I think, perhaps, I'll blame it on....... Nic Cage.  Why not?  He's a fantastic guy.  I mean, have you seen Raising Arizona?  Okay then.

In Halloween's wake, I have some pictures.  There’s a Dr. Horrible pumpkin, which anyone that loves Joss Whedon should know, and anyone who's ne'er seen the wonderfulness of it should watch immediately and then be in the know.  It took about two hours or more to carve, and I was ready to quit before I was finished.  There’s a BOO Ghost, carved masterfully by the beautiful, pregnant (obligatory) wife.  It's cute.  There’s a close-up of Stella.  (We somehow never managed to snap one of Sofie close-up.)  There’s a full shot of both dogs, one as a flying monkey, the other as the wicked witch.  Keisha made both outfits.  And there’s my world-famous mullet champion picture, which I love, since the mullet is my actual hair color and blends seamlessly in with my sideburns and beard.

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Flash Fiction Friday, A Halloween Special: When Pax...

When Pax's left arm fell off, he didn't say anything.  It was no big deal, really.  He didn't use it very much to begin with, so the action was no different than getting stung by a bee or stubbing your toe: annoying, painful, but temporary.  He was right handed, so what did it matter?

When Pax's toes turned dark purple he barely even noticed.  One day, after removing his socks, he saw his normal pale feet with accompanying pale toes were now normal pale feet and purple toes.  "Maybe some grape jelly made it's way into my shoes," he said, shrugging it off.  And when, after his bath, his toes remained purple, he embraced his new toes, wishing his old ones all the best.

When Pax grew a third ear, right out the back of his head, he thought it was the coolest thing ever.  Plus, it came out already pierced with a sweet diamond stud in it, which he sold and took the money to the comic book shop and wasted it all on cheap back issues.  People stared, but he knew they were only staring out of jealousy.

When Pax's lips sealed shut he was in the middle of a presentation for Mr. Groban's class.  "And that's why thmm m mmmm m mmmmhh mhhhmm hmhmh."  He kept on going, through the cries and omgs, until he finished.  "Mmmh mmhh."  He took a seat, beaming.  He'd remembered every single word!

And when Pax's heart stopped beating, when the tiny drummer inside retired his sticks and said "That's all I got," Pax nodded in understanding.  That was all he had, too.  When the song's over, it's over.

Pax Revelet was buried in Middlesboro Cemetery.  The gnome that stole his arm dropped it in the grave with a tear.  The ghost that painted his toes threw a flower in the hole.  The ear fairy that sprinkled the fae dust on his head at night and watered his ears dropped her pail and spade in the pit.  The witch that sealed his lips, Jenny Ray, who was only trying to flirt with him in class, sobbed loudly at the graveside.  Pax Revelet was a boy beloved of many and cherished by all, and his incredible story is something to remember this Halloween Time.

Word Count: 394

Halloween's A-Gone

Wow, it all happened so fast. All week we prepare for the Halloween party, clean and cook and gather and decorate, and then over the course of a few hours it’s all over. But it was fun.

We had around 150-200 trick-or-treater’s show up for candy by my estimation, though I’m not certain. The algorithm I used to come up with that number, a Euclidian permutation of a non-Newtonian based astrophysics formula for space fungus, complete with over four-thousand variables, is a bit unpredictable and unreliable when it comes to things that really matter. So I had to mostly rely on simple reduction: I had 270 pieces of candy to start with and ended with about 10.

In addition to the ghoulish candy-beggers, we played host to around 20 or so folk. ‘Twas a fun and joyous time of fellowship, filled with food galore. Homemade stoneware pizza, a giant pot of chili, pigs-in-a-blanket, pumpkin shaped red Jello, two types of elaborate cookies, chips & meaty queso dip, pumpkin bread, punch with eyeballs floating in it, and a cheesecake with a spider web on top. Lots of food, even if the punch bowl decided to break and spill all over the place. And when there’s food, there’s always a good time.

But it was good seeing everybody and talking with folks, from old friends to new ones. And, in addition to the crowd of people, Stella even had a puppy friend come over and keep her company, too.

Sunday church brought some exciting news in regard to music ministry, and I’m anxious to see what will come of it. Because more often than not, I feel that worship becomes rote and bland, that our singing is done just out of routine, that our voices are raised because that’s what you do, not what you want to do. The words, while beautiful, lack meaning. Yes, I’m looking forward to seeing the change in the music ministry.

And finally I went to a funeral home to pay my respects to a dear old lady that I grew up in church with. Somewhere down the line she’s related to me (not surprising, since my family is gigantic), and it was good to travel back home and see people I don’t get to see often. Having a family as large and as loving and as kind as mine is something I thank God for.

Now I sit here, my mind foggy and my nose stopped up, fighting my personal battle against allergies. I’d wager sitting outside in the cold, October air for a few hours Saturday night has something to do with it. Pictures of various things, ranging from Stella’s Petsmart Show to Halloween night fun, are in the slideshow below. (Sadly, in the confusion and pandemonium of the party, Keisha and I forgot to snap pictures of ourselves. I was Dr. House, and she was a very cute pirate.) Until tomorrow, I bid you all a very fond and wonderfully strange day.

Halloween’s A-Comin’

In the spirit of the season, I shall postpone my review of STAR WARS: Fate of the Jedi: Omen until a later time, which may be tomorrow, or may be never.  Now that that’s done, that means I’m starting (finally) on Joe Abercrombie’s The Last Argument of Kings today at lunch.  I cannot wait to dive in and see what’s going to happen there and see how The First Law series ends.

Enough of that.  Let’s take a look at some Halloween themed stuff.1.  Post-Apocalypse survival.  Growing up a fan of Scooby-Doo, this picture blows me away.  I can imagine the world in which Velma and Scooby find themselves in, but I wonder what sacrifices they were forced to make to survive.  “Jinkies,” I can hear Velma say, “this post-apocalyptic vampire and zombie infested wasteland is a tough life, eh, Scoob?”  Anyway, I thought the image was pretty cool, and this could be an interesting comic/Adult Swim show idea.  This image originates from here, by the way, if you’re interested.

I’m not sure what it is about the post-apocalyptic genre that I love so very much, but I do like it.  Whether it’s reading a book or playing a game like Fallout 3, there’s something very attractive in the post-apoc setting.

2.  Zombies.  I found a very interesting article called “Zombie 101,” written by Matt Zoller Seitz.  Basically there is a few paragraphs written about zombies and their cultural significance to us, which is interesting to read.  However, at the end of the article, Seitz has created a 12 minute video essay that really drives home the point.  The essay pays homage to all sorts of zombie films and I really enjoyed watching it.  You can find the article and essay here.

Have you noticed that recently both zombies and vampires have become very, very popular?  I’m sure Twilight had something to do with the vampire revival, but I have no clue what started up the zombie revolution.  I grew up with zombies, and I can remember my mom waking me up at night when I was a wee lad to watch a movie with her because she was scared to watch it alone.  That movie was Night of the Living Dead, the defining zombie movie.  (Okay, in the haziness of my mind it may not actually be NotLD, but I’m pretty sure it was one of Romero’s classic B&W zombie movies.)

3.  Jack-O’-Lanterns.  This year I’ve decided to do some actual pumpkin carving other than a traditional Jack-face.  I’ve not chosen exactly what I want to carve yet, but I have narrowed down my options.  There are a lot of ideas out there, and some cool stencils, too, if you’re interested in trying it out.  If it turns out good, I’ll try to post a picture.

4.  Candy.  Man oh man oh man do I love candy.  Hard candy, like Runts, Gobstoppers, Sprees, Nerds, Sweet Tarts, Bottlecaps, and suckers, are a constant nag to my sweet-desiring mouth.  Soft candy, like Chewy Sprees, Skittles, Shock Tarts, and Gummy anythings, are an equal temptation for me to scorn.  And then there’s chocolate.  There’s just something that’s hard to ignore when you’ve got chocolate, especially dark chocolate, tempting you, calling out to you, begging you to bite into its wonderful bark.  And adding peanut butter to the chocolate is often something I cannot refuse.  Dang, now I really want some candy.  Maybe I can convince my brother-in-law or my cousins to part with some of their loot after the party this weekend.

I hope you all are ready for Halloween.  I know I am.  Plus, I’m planning on making another cheesecake for the party this weekend.  I may try and put a Halloween spin on it, even, if I think I’m up to the challenge.

(NaNoWriMo is approaching quickly, and I, like Dave, am chomping at the bit.  Actually, I’ve cheated a bit and wrote a few things down in my planning stage.  But I’ve justified myself, telling myself that I have to still write 50,000 words in November.  And I’m getting my 360 today…)