X

X usually brings to mind algebra.  Solve for x.  For most people, it's the first independent variable one comes in contact with.  Up until algebra and pre-algebra, x simply meant to multiply numbers together.  It was pretty simple.  Pretty convenient.  And then the Cartesian plane is introduced, along with the concept of solving a function, f(x), and childhood ends.

I've been fortunate enough to always enjoy mathematics, and I've always excelled in the field.  That's probably part of the reason I went into engineering.  That's probably the reason I took a job as an engineering calculus grader for a few years, where I got to check student exams and quizzes.  I liked the beauty of math, the simple logic that said if you did this, then you can get this answer.  And once I started getting deeper into calculus, once I started understanding roots and intercepts, once linear algebra somewhat clicked, my world opened up even more.

The cool thing is that so often we solve for x without even knowing we're doing that.  If we're planning a road trip and know the distance and the speed we'll drive, we can estimate the time it'll take.  Likewise, if we know a trip is about 2 hours away and we're going about 70 mph, we can figure that the location is somewhere around 140 miles.  We make so many estimations and guesses without even thinking about it, and that is a form of numerical analysis and x-solving.

I love math.  I do.  It's fun, especially when it makes sense.  There are upper echelons of calculus and mathematics that I can't begin to fathom, but the stuff that I do get, that's enjoyable.

On Minesweeper and Logic

I’m a fan of Minesweeper.  It’s really a pretty simple, logical game.  You get a grid of squares, you click on a square and a number, n, is revealed.  That number means there are n bombs touching that square.  For example, if you click and a 2 is revealed, then 2 of the surrounding 8 squares are bombs.  The act of logical deduction is thus used and eventually the minefield is cleared.  The Microsoft bundled Minesweeper comes with three difficulties: Beginner (which has 10 mines), Intermediate (which has 40), and Expert (which has 99).

I’ve played Minesweeper since I was in high school, and I’ve always enjoyed the mathematical rules the game must obey.  Using a logical approach, with deductive reasoning, practically any game can be solved after the initial guessing is made.  I used to believe this, especially in the Beginner and Intermediate games, but after playing Expert for a while I am forced to admit it is no longer valid.  The image to the right clearly ignores all logical reasoning and the final game is reduced to luck.  The odds that the top square will have the mine is 50%, while the odds that the bottom square is the mine is also 50%.  How can I pick one of these over the other?  Where is the logic that I so dearly love?

Sadly, it is absent.  The logic completely breaks down at this point in the game, sending my brain into overload and frustration.  And when logic fails, it’s often a strange situation we find ourselves in.

Because I’m a nerd/geek, and because I love math & science, it’s pretty obvious that my brain is structured to think logically.  If A makes B happen every time, and B is always causing a C to occur, and C sometimes results in D happening, then it’s easy to see that A will logically lead to C, but A won’t always result in D.  This thinking method is how my brain functions.  It’s my comfort zone, the way I attempt to understand life and the things therein.

Unfortunately, as in Minesweeper, there are logical breakdowns in life.  These usually enter into play when uncontrolled emotions become involved.  As an artist, I believe artwork stems from passions, and these passions are connected to how we feel about things.  Our feelings shape who we are and how we’re perceived if we act on them.  If we don’t, then part of me thinks that we are denying our natural urges, but another part of me thinks that we should be able to restrain ourselves from acting.  We can’t be stoics…

Things done with moderation are a good thing; they exercise control and give us a bit of liberty.  However, too much and we’re soon a slave to our desires, the freedom replaced with bondage.  For example, a little television is fine and perfectly accepted, but when you’re spending every waking, possible hour in front of the tube, then there is a problem.  Anything that becomes an obsession is never a good thing, in my opinion, as I think we should be free from anything that holds us down.

All of these things seem to breakdown life’s logic.  It does not make logical sense to spend 10 hours a day watching TV if you need to be doing something else.  It’s unhealthy and perceived as lazy, and I’m rather inclined to agree.  Furthermore, it doesn’t make sense to spend every possible moment with your nose in a book, either, for similar reasons (though reading doesn’t typically have the “lazy” stigma attached to it.)  It does not make sense to take a drug that you know has a chance of killing you, of giving you a terrible addiction.  While we may get pleasure from doing these things, doing them in excess is a bit of a logical failure in my eyes.

I guess it all can boil back to me being an engineer.  Like most people, production is a positive thing in life, and we feel good about ourselves getting things done.  However, as an engineer, I strongly feel that efficiency is as important.  Does it make more sense to spend one hour focused on study, accomplishing a great deal, and possibly even finishing the assignment or to procrastinate, put off studying until your favorite show is over and then stay up into the night, letting your synapses burn dry and your thoughts shrivel up?  I just don’t understand life.

By no means am I above it, and I am plagued by procrastination as much as the next lad/lass.  Typically I try to accomplish things efficiently for a while, but eventually I grow tired and want to do something else (like, say, pick up my guitar or sit down at the piano).  Like Brandon said on his blog the other day, persistence is key (okay, he didn’t say it like that, but that was the meaning.)  If we press on, disciplining ourselves against our whims and desires, then we’ll find that we’re more efficient, more productive, and more logical.

Logically, persistence is how we get into our obsessions anyway.  We form our routines, doing the same thing over and over, day in, day out, and eventually we’re a ‘slave to our selves.’  Some look at the root of problems by taking that first step, that first smoke, that first look, that first whatever.  If they hadn’t did it the first time, then they wouldn’t be in the shape their in.  While I partially can agree to this opinion, the second (and third…) step is equally impactful.  Those are the ones that form the addiction.  (I know there are things in life where one time is enough to start the addiction, but these don’t work in my allegory.)

So, if persistence is how we get into our messes, it’s also the way we get out of them.  Our bodies are weak, and we can change them if we desire it enough.  If we want it more than anything, if we set our goals on truly being liberated from everything in life, then we can change.  Through persistence and repetition, never giving up even when we fail, we can rise above this world and its logical breakdowns.  We, my friends, can be free.

Afterword:  Wow, this post morphed from my original idea.  Initially I wanted to talk about how our emotions can take control of us and lead us to acting differently, lead us to being illogical, but instead I went off on other things.  I have no idea how I got on the topic of obsessions and addictions, and it seems like I have procrastination posts a lot…  Oh, and if you’re wondering how my game of Minesweeper ended, just look at the cool little smiley face man with the sun glasses at the top of the picture beneath this paragraph (woah, that’s a lot of prepositional phrases).  Yep, I got lucky.

Why I Like Being A Nerd

I admit it, and I always have. I am a nerd. I'm a dork. I'm a geek. I'm even okay with calling myself weird. All of that is well and fine, and I take it as a compliment. You won't offend me calling me these things. In fact, I enjoy being the nerd that I am.

To begin, the definition of nerd should be addressed. Here are a three definitions found using Google's "define: nerd" function, though there were a few more results.

1. Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities ...

2. A person who, although having good technical or scientific skills, is introspective and generally introverted

3. A form of candy currently sold by Nestlé under their Willy Wonka Candy Company brand.

In case you didn't know, I am not a form of candy sold by Willy Wonka. Nope, I'm more of a blend between the other two definitions. Basically, I really enjoy learning, reading things to improve my understanding of the physical, physiological, and psychological. I like learning about new technologies that are created to accomplish a certain task.

Pursuing knowledge is indeed a passion. It doesn't have to be scientific knowledge (though I find this branch of knowledge extremely interesting), as I enjoy pop culture, literature, and certain historical periods. Watching Jeopardy has always been fun, and I would love to get on the show some day. Indeed, playing Trivial Pursuit is always fun and challenging, and typically takes a few hours to complete.

Another thing that qualifies me as a nerd is the fact that I really love mathematics. I was a grader for two years or so during college, where I graded Engineering Calculus I, II, and III, and I also graded Differential Equations once or twice. This job was really fun, often humorous (it's amazing what struggling students will put on their papers to plea for help from the merciful/merciless graders), and educational. Working as a grader helped me keep calculus fresh, and it also sharpened my appreciation for math. You see, mathematics, be it algebra, arithmetic, or calculus, is beautiful. It is complete and perfect. Numbers are like a special type of magic that have to either work or fail. Once you understand the relationship or the theory behind something, it makes complete sense and it becomes obvious why a certain equation has to result in a certain answer.

Yes, friends, math is a beautiful and crazy thing. The field is always changing, redefining itself, questioning itself. This makes it exciting (and sometimes frustrating) to study and learn.

What else makes someone a nerd? Does the fact that I went to engineering school count? I think yes. Do conversations about technology and science fascinate me? Aye. Do I like playing around with computer programs, especially Excel, and see what I can do with them? Absolutely.

All in all, I am a unashamedly a nerd. I suppose that I always will be, even if it does occasionally drive Keisha crazy. Good luck, folks, and learn something today.

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Random Exceptional Song Lyric: "I wanted to see you walking backwards to get the sensation of you coming home. I wanted to see you walking away from me without the sensation you're leaving me alone."--Time and Time Again, Counting Crows