Saturday, January 15, 2011

Fate & 15th: Part 5 of 5

     It happened like this.
     Ellen was paying for her ice cream when the bells to the door clanged.
     Coty stepped into the store on Fate & 15th.
     Ellen drew the revolver and the weapon exploded in her hands.
     Coty’s head exploded from the bullet’s exit path.
     She then turned and killed the cashier with another shot. Right before she squeezed the trigger she thought, My God, they’re everywhere. She brought the gun to her temple and pulled the trigger, but the chamber didn’t fire. Odd, she thought, having put eight rounds in the magazine earlier.
     Dwayne was the first officer to arrive at the scene.
     “Ellen?” he asked, his pistol hanging in the air.
     Her eyes were filled with darkness, unfocused and dilated. “Shadows,” she whispered.
     “What? What are you talking about? What did you do?”
     “Shadows,” she repeated. “They made me do it. I understand now.”
     He lowered his gun, realization blossoming in his mind. He felt the scratch urging just below the surface.  “Ellen, I--”
     She shot him in the chest, the .44 tearing through his body like it was paper. She had put four more rounds into his flesh before her mind cleared. The last tendrils of blackness faded away and she gasped at the carnage before her. What have I done?
     She looked down at the gun. The store wouldn’t stay empty much longer. There’s still one bullet left, she thought, her hand trembling. There were leeches now, crawling across the floor and on the walls. The blackness reappeared, swirling in her vision like smoke. The razor talons of the shadows sank into her brain once again as she fired the last shot in the chamber. But the pain didn’t stop. The talons dug deeper, devouring her from within, a pain unimaginable.
     For a fleeting moment, she thought she saw Dwayne. He was surrounded by a thick miasma of darkness. Then he cried out and was gone and the shadows moved on her.

Total Word Count: 1138

Herein being the end of the five-part tale of flash fiction.  I hope you enjoyed it, if this type of dark tale is the sort of thing you enjoy.  I hope it kind of made sense; it does to me.  It's certainly raises questions...


David Wagner said...

An eight-chambered .44 revolver? Now I've seen everything!

Not sure the ending makes sense to me. Gonna have to chew on it a bit more...

Jay Belt said...

Cool story, I was wondering how all the pieces fit together and they definitely fit in the end. Leaves lots of questions, but that's alright. Thanks for sharing!

Kristopher A. Denby said...

I'm not sure what was intended with this 5 part series, other than an excercise in tying several story threads together at once with a central theme. I'm assuming the theme went something along the lines of a battle with inner demons?

It's an interesting tale, but it confused me considerably.

Thanks for sharing, Logan. Keep them coming.

Abbie Josephsen said...

Very interesting! Great writing, kind of creepy, but provoking none the less :)

Kristopher A. Denby said...

Jeez, Logan. I re-read my comment and it sounded kinda snarky to me. Sorry about that! I didn't mean to be rude.

Let me try again.

The vignettes did a great job of keeping me interested in the whole arc. The imagery you created was dark and weird. Kinda reminded me of something from the mind of Clive Barker.

In any case, you've got a dark side to you, pal. I'm really curious to see if you'll elaborate at all on your mindset and intended themes when you wrote this.


logankstewart said...

@Dave: Hey, it's possible! This is fiction after all... ;)

@Jay: Thank you! It does, for sure.

@Kris(x2): Nah, didn't sound snarky to me at all. Glad the darkness and weirdness came out, as that was one of the big things I was going for.

@Abbie: Hey, thanks for stopping by, for reading my story, and for the compliment!