Thursday, April 19, 2012

Questioning Myself

Me+: Query: what are you going to do this weekend?  Wanna hang out with me?
Me: No, not really.  I've already made plans and I don't feel comfortable telling you all the details.  Why?
Me+:  Because I'm lonely, Me.  I'm all but abandoned down here.
Me: Maybe that's because you're more than slightly annoying.
Me+: (scowling) Maybe it's because you're--
Me:  I thought this was going to be some sort of interview.  If it's a pity party, then I'm out of here.
Me+: No! No! I'm sorry.  It's, I, ah, yes.  Sorry.  (coughs) Query: How was the concert the other night? Who did you go see?
Me: It was awesome, dude.  I went and saw John Mark McMillan down in Nashville.  Pretty sweet show.
Me+: Query: When can I expect to read your review?  The fans are just dying to know.
Me: Uh, it's in progress.  Should be up either this evening or tomorrow.  Tell 'em I'm sorry it's taking so long and that I'll have Alfonso hop to it at double time.
Me+: Will do, my good man.  Say, Query: have you watched Cabin in the Woods yet?
Me: Did you just turn British?  Did you just speak in italics?!
Me+: I'm doing the asking here, but to answer your queries, I've always been British (long live the Queen!) and yes, I did speak in italics.
Me: (whistles) That's high class there.
Me+: Indeed.
Me:  And no, I've not watched the movie yet.  I want to see it, just finding the time and a babysitter and a matinee, y'know.  Those are important.
Me+: Yes.  I'm currently AWOL from my babysitter, and I would appreciate your confidentiality in this matter.  Uhm, let's see here... Query: What's going on with the MLC?  Any new prospects or anything?
Me: (deep sigh) Nothing new, really.  Still hoping and waiting to hear back from one potential group, and my inside source makes me think that I will any day now, but as of yet, nothing.  It's a tiring process.  As for the MLC Proper, well, that's a different story, one that I don't really want to go in here.  Let's just say that I'm simultaneously busy and not busy.
Me+: Hmmm.  Sorry to hear that.  (pulls out a random index card)  Query: Why come you no like--
Me: Y'know you don't have to start every question off with the word query, right?
Me+: (stares at Me blankly for an uncomfortable forty seconds)
Me:  Oh... Maybe you do.  My bad.
Me+: Yes, Me, I very much do.  Please don't bring it up again.  Query: What's your favorite coffee creamer?
Me: I prefer hazelnut, but I also like French vanilla, too.
Me+: Query: What's your favorite color?
Me: It has always been green, and it always will be green.
Me+: Queries: Are you as excited about that Zac Efron movie as I am?  Do you have any plans for your anniversary that's coming up?  What are you reading?  Breakfast?  What book of the bible are you currently reading?
Me:  That's a lot of questions, Me+.  No, not at all.  They're in the works.  Look at my sidebar and see for yourself.  Not usually, but I fried some eggs and made biscuits this morning.  I'm almost through Numbers and soon to be in Deuteronomy.
Me+: Well that's all the time we have for today.  I'd like to thank Me for stopping by and taking some time out of his busy schedule.  Any final comments?
Me: (grinning) You forgot to say query.


ibeeeg said...

Clever, and very entertaining. Thanks.
Query: were you bored? :)

Grammy said...

(Querously):Hmmm. I say, Old Chap, don't you find the ads for Cabin in the Woods a bit too spooky? Or do you enjoy all that rot?"
Me: Oh, definitely too spooky. You got any gravy to go on those biscuits?
Breakfast is very appealing right now.
(The Real Me: ) I enjoyed your post.
Very clever.
Ruby aka Grammy

Arlee Bird said...

The was internal dialog on steroids. Maybe you guys need to get out more--meet some people. You know what I'm saying.
By the way you're a featured blog on my R post.

An A to Z Co-Host
Tossing It Out
Twitter: @AprilA2Z

logankstewart said...

@All: Glad you fine folks liked it. Thanks for reading along!

Anonymous said...

It was fun to see this. I too did a little talking to myself for n that I wasn't expecting. Great randomness.