Christmas time is here

First and foremost, merry CHRISTmas. Secondly, merry CHRISTmas.

So it's been a while since my last post (primarily because I only have limited internet access when I come home from college, i.e. public library) and life really hasn't had much excitement. Indeed there was finals, which went quite well. And Christmas approaches, so there was the creation of gifts and purchase of others. Also went quite well. And then there was King Kong and the Chronicles of Narnia, both of which went, well, quite well.

But alas I must now weave the events that have recently been made aware to me. I shall not reveal how I became aware of this knowledge, but it is my responsibility to tell it to all. Hang on. I shall start at the beginning, proceed through the middle, possibly reach a climax, and resolve with a resolution.

It all began with the boy. He knew things he shouldn't. No one at age eight could possibly comprehend, but somehow he knew. And it was the knowledge he held that held the world in a delicate balance. Should he tell the world, there would be havoc and chaos. Should he keep it to himself there would be inner strife. But Christmas was approaching. And with Christmas comes gifts. So the boy, somehow, knew what he would do.

It was time for the evening news and his parents were sitting in their normal living room watching their normal news broadcast and assuming normally that their "normal" son was upstairs, playing with normal toys like normal kids do. Of course, he wasn't. Actually at that very instant he was finishing praying. He had decided. And the world must know. The news anchors told introduced their guest as a prodigy who had an explosive secret to tell. And with that the parents leaned a little closer to the tv, like the rest of the world watching. And closer still they leaned when they saw that the prodigy was their son. And still closer they leaned when he began to speak.

"My name does not matter. Only the information I have in my head is all that concerns you all. And so I shall tell it and leave. I'm sorry." This was the only way for freedom. And afterall, it was Christmas time. "Apparently since I am not allowed to say CHRISTmas on tv, I first want to wish you all a very merry CHRISTmas. But my concern does not depend on that. My concern involves most people in this world. And my secret is enough to send an entire continent to maddness. Why am I telling this? I don't really know, but I believe everyone should know.

"And so I give you the option now. You have about ten seconds to turn off the tv and live comfortably in ignorance. I shall pause and wait." And the parents along with the rest of the world all leaned in terribly closer. Still closer as time dropped closer and closer to zero. And simultaneously everyone pushed one button on their remotes. Power.

And so the secret has not been heard by anyone except the camera man, who happened to be a little loose in the noggin. He told it to me. And as for the boy, I cannot say. But the secret I now know, if I am to belive the mad man. And so I disagree with the aforemention of not revealing my source, but I believe that unimportant. I must go now. Namaste. Merry Christmas.