i (a)

most of the time i like being out of the light. not, like, in shadow, but just out of the light. on the sidelines. for instance, when there's a crowd gathering for an open house... it's not that i don't want to be social, it's that i want to be myself. i'm not scared of the crowd. i'm open to the crowd's opinion. and e'en though i'm invited, it's almost as if i don't belong, yet i know that i do. it's the strange, awkwardness of being. it's the thought of meeting and feigning interest. it's the thought of actually staying focused. it's trying to get through the crap and the fake smiles that decorate everyone's faces and instead being you. but i think that i'll go anyway...