Tuesday, July 07, 2009

On Coffee

Aye, I drink coffee. I'll take it black (as long as it's not too bold) and I'll take it with cream (as long as it's not too sweet), but I won't take it with sugar. No way. Not even the sugar substitutes. To me, adding those tiny sweet crystals to the magnificent taste of coffee just ruins it. Really it's just a matter of taste, but my taste buds are cleverer than yours and says that you should not like sugar in your coffee. My favorite coffee is from Sunergos, the wonderful little micro-brewery on Brook Street in Louisville, but I doubt I'll be visiting any time soon, as I've moved out of Louisville. Sadly, the only coffee places I've found in OBKY are Starbucks (ack!) and Panera Bread (which was actually okay).

But the thing with coffee is that it doesn't do much for me. It helps with the energy levels a little, maybe, but not as much as drinking a Mt. Dew or some other pop. Yet, I drink coffee. There's something about blowing softly on the filled cup and letting the warmth bounce back onto your upper lip and nose that's exhilarating. Refreshing. Comforting. You don't get that with soda; you get to listen to millions of air bubbles popping and taste a burning, syrupy sensation as it goes down your throat.

The worst part of a cup of coffee is the last drop, the bottom of the cup. It's typically much cooler than the first drink, which often scalds the tongue and sends goosebumps down the arm. There's something perverted in drinking cold coffee unintentionally. The only cold coffees I like are when they are mixed with shaved ice and blended, and then only on very rare and extreme occasions. So, when I get to the bottom of my cup, I just quickly gulp it down, make a disgusted face, and go on my way.

The other negative to drinking coffee is the affects it has on the bladder. I'm not sure if it's just me or if it's scientific and happens to other people, but when I drink coffee it doesn't take long before I need to go relieve myself. Typically it's just Number One quite frequently. But, if it's a real strong, bold, dark coffee, the coffee somehow influences Number One and Number Two, and usually adds a touch of stomach discomfort. Blah. Thankfully, here at work the coffee is just right (usually) and just affects the bladder.

There are things out there that are cousins of coffee -- lattes, cappuccinos, mochas -- and I'm not really sure of their purpose. Do they exist to lure people in and get them hooked on all those pointless calories? Or is there a more sinister plot, one devised to completely eradicate normal coffee? I'm not sure, but my wife loves a low-fat mocha with skim milk. And that brings up a completely different topic (skim milk is essentially dirty dish water) that I don't really want to get in.

What's the point? The point is simple: coffee is drank by trillions of people across this planet, with at least 13 billion being from the state of Kentucky. Everybody likes it and those that don't just haven't acquired that taste yet. Fresh born babies love it. Ninety-nine year old ladies love it. Heck, I may have to go for my third cup today. Enjoy.


marky said...

but my taste buds are cleverer than yours and says that you should not like sugar in your coffee
Ha! I liked that!

I stayed in London for two years, and all they would drink was tea. And we're talking a cup every commercial break!

After about six months of drinking tea constantly, it put me off for life.

I enjoy a coffee now and then, but only the really good stuff. I like dark Columbian coffee.......With sugar!!!!

logankstewart said...

Ah, Marky, alas, I like a good cup of hot tea every once in a while, too, but mostly in the winter. I have a friend from Iran who bought me some authentic tea from Iran that got me hooked on hot teas. Growing up in the "southern" country of the US I like sweet, iced tea more than the hot, bitter tea.

It's strange, but I see no problems for adding sugar to hot tea, but adding it to coffee just seems wrong.

Krista said...

Yuck, coffee is not for me! I don't care if it's served black or with tons of milk and sugar it's still absolutely gross, in my humble opinion!

logankstewart said...

Krista, hmmmmm. No, I don't think so. You must have coffee mistaken with some other brownish-black beverage. I'm talking about coffee, that drink that's pretty tasy.


Krista said...

LOL! The wonderful way you explain coffee just makes it even MORE gross! Brownish-black beverage, yuck! You can have it, and I'll stick to my Good Old glass of Ice Cold Tea!