Wednesday, July 29, 2009

On Knuckle Popping (an Addiction)

There aren't too many things that are more frustrating than having a knuckle that needs to be popped and being unable to do so. For instance, my right middle finger desperately wants to be popped, and I've tried my hardest to do so, but I just can't seem to get it to do it exactly right. Somehow I manage to pop it, but not where I need to pop it. I twist, pull, yank, turn, and bend, but no sweet release. There is no cavitation.

Many of you may not know this, but I am slightly OCD about popping knuckles and joints. I can pop my neck, back, knees, elbows, fingers, shoulders, and practically anything else that needs popping on my own. I can pop my wrist, right ankle, and right 2nd toe at will, and as many times as I like. With my wrist I can actually see the bone moving and a loud SNAP comes with every turn. Once I start the popping process, I can't stop. I have to follow through, and in a certain pattern and method. Interlock fingers, extend arms, extend hands, relax. Tuck thumbs under fingers, pop, tuck index fingers under thumbs, pop, tuck middle under thumbs, pop, tuck ring fingers under thumbs, pop, and tuck pinkies under thumbs and pop. Stretch all ten fingers wide and as far as they go, bend all at first joints, pop, make fists, squeeze, pop. Rest. Repeat, if necessary. It's a knuckle popping extravaganza!

But why do I feel compelled to pop my joints? It's maddening, and I've tried to quit many times, but my resolve often fails after a few week minutes (or seconds) of resisting. Just thinking about quitting makes me want to pop my knuckles. Seeing someone popping makes me want to pop. Talking about it makes me want to pop. Yes, friends, I confess: I am addicted to popping my knuckles. I do it because I can, and because I always have. But I'm not entirely sure I want to.

There are benefits to this addiction, such as a +1 Dexterity and +1 Luck, but there's also the bad side: -2 Psyche and -1 Annoying. Nevertheless, I am forever bound to this addiction. I shudder to imagine what would happen if my arms were broke and I was unable to move and pop. I'd be miserable. Thankfully, I'm whole and healthy, except for the physiological addiction.


Krista said...

Too funny! You’re a popping machine!

I used to be a big knuckle popper, but I had to quit, because my fingers must have a touch of Arthritis. It's rather sad really, I can't write and such too long without my fingers hurting. Even my wrists are rather touchy at times.

You know what's funny, though. I've always been able to pop my right ankle at will, but not my left *shrug*.

By the way, good luck on your business trip!

Captain Joe said...

Ah great, now I'll be trying to get my ring finger all night.

Well played, Logan, well played indeed.

marky said...

Does that not cause arthritis later on in life? I can body pop if that counts, but only to MC Hammer!

Doo do de do, can’t touch this!

I’ll eh, get me coat…..

logankstewart said...

@Krista: It's just so addicting. However, my wrists do hurt me as well, and it is quite a nuisance to endure. But what can I do? What can I do?

@Cap'n: Alas, my insidious plan has been found out. Now I just need the entire world to read it and I'll be closer to take over the world.

@Marky: Actually, scientists disagree about whether or not it causes arthritis. I've read different accounts on how it provides a small benefit to some people, and detriment to others. I just hope I fall in the first group there.

David Wagner said...

Well, that's better than other OCD-related bizarre behaviors... some of us feel compelled to pass wind on our spouse's toothbrush...

You could always invite Inquisitor Glokta over to your hour for tea... then he could slowly remove your fingers with a cleaver... you can't pop 'em if you don't got 'em!